Okay, , let's get this out of the way...

Please consider this my official apology to the people of Panama:

As many of you geographically-adept readers pointed out, my last email's subject line, "Trapped In Mexico," did not actually relate to my story about getting stuck in Panama City, because as it turns out, Panama City... is not in Mexico! 

It's in — wait for it — Panama.

I know. I'm as surprised as you are.

Apparently, there's also a Panama City in Florida, and a few of you were like, "You got stuck in the desert in FLORIDA?" and probably thought I was just being even more dramatic than usual. But no. I was in actual Panama. The country.

I had to laugh, given that the whole email was all about how mistakes are just opportunities, blah blah blah, SURE, but I wasn't really expecting to be given a GIANT, GLARING OPPORTUNITY by my now-global ignorance. Carmen Sandiego really failed me, okay, guys? #homeschooled

So, my profuse apologies to all Panamanian readers. Your country is lovely and I'd happily get stuck there again anytime.

Amid the responses that noted the correct geographic location of Panama and the fact that I'd misquoted Edison as Einstein (all I do is win!), I got a note I wanted to highlight and respond to today from a lovely reader, Chiara.

Here's a little excerpt:

"One of the main struggles for me in my business is being comfortable with being visible and overcoming the fear of judgment which feels paralyzing at times. I'm pouring my heart into my new website and the big challenge for me is being myself on the page. The real me is a bit "woo" and loves to talk about things like meditation, energy, and spirituality. I'm a former corporate lawyer and while none of this stuff is new to me personally, it's a whole different story to share publicly.

If you haven't written about it in a past newsletter already, I'd love to hear more about whether you've ever struggled with this fear of being visible (and/or being yourself more publicly) and have any tips for how to forge ahead despite the fear."

I did a search through our newsletter archive and I couldn't believe that I HADN'T written a newsletter about this since it's one of my absolute favorite things to talk about. So Chiara, let's do this.

I'm going to lead with the TL:DR here because I'm turning over a new leaf (i.e. also studying geography):

Someone out there is looking for exactly what makes you different.

Read that again.

Because when I read Chiara's note above, that's what I muttered to myself out loud.

You know why her clients are going to gravitate toward her? I'd bet you the (ostrich) farm that lot of them are going to be not-your-typical-woo-person types who secretly want to learn more about meditation, energy, and spirituality. Maybe they're coming from a corporate place, or maybe they want a slightly more buttoned-up approach to that world.

Either way, when Chiara embraces that disparity in her brand, in her copy, in her online persona, ("I used to think all of this was a little crazy. Now I've got a crystal for everything.") she gives them the freedom to do the same. She'll attract what she's putting out there. She'll demonstrate that she knows where they are because she was there, too... In fact, she gets it more than anyone else could.

THAT is the power of being yourself online.

(Let's not talk about how I'm pretty sure the subtext of this question was actually just, "Jen, how are you brave enough to be a longwinded, somewhat obnoxious weirdo online?!)

I was speaking at an event in Vegas a few years ago about how to curate your content for your website, and I had a couple come up and ask me to take a look at their site. As you know, I love any excuse to give my opinion, so I was more than happy to oblige.

As I perused their totally pretty, classic-looking website filled with totally pretty, classic-looking brides, I asked them about who they were + what they enjoyed, and about their ideal client. Who were they hoping to attract?

"Well, honestly, we'd love to work with really adventurous brides," they said. "We love skydiving, climbing, jumping out of helicopters to ski down mountains, scuba diving, and that kind of thing..." (OH, OKAY.) "It would be so cool if we could do elopements like that or work with couples more like us.... But we've had a hard time finding clients like that."

"Um, guys," I said, light bulb fully visible over my head. "What if the problem isn't that you can't find them... what if the problem they can't find YOU?"

(I looked around for a mic to drop. None close enough.)

Undaunted, I continued: "I mean, your brand images are all, like, you guys on a pretty white couch in great outfits. This should be you jumping out of a plane! You just need to go find a bride who's willing to jump out of a plane WITH you — JUST ONE! Or hey, grab some friends in a tux and a wedding dress, and get video of THAT. Do a styled shoot in scuba gear! Why are ALL these brides wearing pearls!? If you love to climb and scuba dive and are total badasses, why is the only thing I know about you from your about page that you really enjoy a warm pumpkin spice latte on a crisp Fall day?!"

"If you want couples that love adventure, you've gotta show them a COUPLE THAT LOVES ADVENTURE."

(Yep, this is what happens when you ask me to take a quick look at your website.)

All I could imagine was a soon-to-be bride in rock climbing gear, browsing tab after tab of wedding photographer websites just looking for someone a little different. Someone who wanted to shoot her Icelandic elopement after like, a five-day hike and a break for some light ice-climbing. And this couple, who would have been perfect, wasn't even in the running!

Maybe it's not that you can't find them. Maybe it's that they can't find you.

--

Now, please hear me on this: I'm not saying you've got to invent a thing that makes you different. This isn't the time to mine your childhood for weird talents, develop a strange niche, or pretend you love skydiving when you really, truly love white couches + a good PSL on a fall day.

But if there's something in your story that's allowed you to develop a unique perspective, serve a specific clientele, understand a particular pain point, merge some disparate skillsets, or build a distinctive tone of voice... OWN IT. Embrace it. Build it into your brand. Write it into your copy; show it in your brand images. Lean into what excites you.

Because chances are, someone is out there looking for exactly what makes you different. And until you stop blending in... they won't be able to find you.

Ready for a super sophisticated, helpful visual?